Getting Back with an Ex – Do’s and Don’ts Part 1

By admin / January 3, 2010
By: Albert Chen
Category: Relationships

Love is one of the strongest emotions a human being can experience. It is why when love seems to fail in your life it seems like the world is coming to an end. But there is hope to win that love you lost back into your life. While winning your love of your life back may not seem simple, it is definitely possible. So if you truly want to get your ex back, read seriously.

Maybe you were like the numerous others out there where the one you truly loved just walked out on you. Probably the first thing that entered your mind afterwards was how do I get my ex back. The truth of the matter is that most people do not have a clue on how to get an ex back. You need to realize this for yourself so you don't make some of the big mistakes.

Many things people do to try and get their ex back simply will not work. Know ahead of time what you can do to rebuild that relationship you once had.

First of all let's cover what not to do:

1. What you absolutely must not do is fixate on your ex. It is crucial that you move on with your life. Take an interesting course at your local college or even better yet take a vacation. Whatever you do make sure that you are moving on from the relationship. Only after you have moved on from the relationship do you have a chance of getting back with your ex.

2. Do not play games with your ex. Sadly, many people resort to playing games during breakups because it can give them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don't care, or you care more than you really do, you're manipulating them and that can feel great. But it is very foolish and it won't feel great for long. This type of behavior will come back to haunt you later on, whether with this ex or another relationship later on.

3. Don't be mean. This holds true in basically any situation or any relationship. Sometimes the anger surrounding a breakup makes us act in ways than we normally wouldn't. Think about how you've been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread it? Do you talk too much or nag? If you feel like starting any kind of arguments, don't. Discipline yourself at controlling your anger and pain, and being a person they can miss. Most importantly, be yourself.

You have to continue to foster other relationships. If you and your ex are not talking right now then you need to see if there is anyone else out there that may be better suited for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea and now is a good as time as any to see what you could have been missing. You will appear more attractive to your ex by doing this.

Okay, now let's focus on what to do:

1. Take a good look at yourself and the relationship in its entirety. If there is an issue in your relationship it is important that you address this immediately. What was the problem that seemed to come up in every argument? This is the one that has to be talked through before you can even consider getting back with your ex. For many couples it is the money that is the big problem in the relationship. If you do not know how to deal with your own finances then there is a high chance your you won't be able to handle both of your financial issues. Whatever it is, deal with it.

2. Prove to your ex that you are one that can be depended upon. If she is under a lot of stress then offer to lend a helping hand. If an essay needs rewriting then offer to do this for her or him. The point is to make your ex see you in a different light then before. If you have really changed make it known to your ex by your actions and not just your words. You're going to have to prove to them that you've changed for the better.

3. Can you really listen to your ex when they're talking? Be there for them. Can you be the person your ex comes to when she needs a shoulder to cry on? This is really important to help you win your ex back in your life. You do not want to always try and solve each issue but offer some good advice. You want to be a of practical benefit.

4. Lastly you have to take action, and take charge. People pay more attention to what you do not. It is critical that you recognize how to act when trying to get your ex back. Only actions can solve problems and rebuild relationships. If you truly wish to be the person who is in their life then you need to take action. If you want to be the person who is in their life then you need to take charge in getting your ex back into your life.

Ask yourself these questions:

Can you be a good friend to your ex right now? If yes then by all means do so. It is crucial to having him or her fall in love with you again. Without a deep friendship there can be no deep love. So, develop your friendship and love will come.

Can you show that you are a fun person to be around? If so you stand a much better chance of winning him or her back. Being a fun person is key to the development of attraction; you should be a source of positive energy that is fun to be with.

Come clean to your partner so that you can build a better relationship. Admit that you were wrong and where you went wrong. It is key to winning the love of your life back. Do not skip this step.
Be on your best behavior; make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. Then you'll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex. They'll remember your good points and will miss them.

It is definitely possible to get back your lost love but you have to start working on this the right way, and right away. Take these first few steps to start. For part 2 of this article visit my website and subscribe to my newsletter. There are videos, articles, and tips you will find useful to getting your ex back. Good luck!

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