This is a difficult issue. The heading uses the word 'dirty' and it means sneaky, cruel, underhand and more besides. The best advice in any would-be divorce is to be aware. Knowledge is power. And if you decide to trust your partner, to accept everything they say as gospel, and then possibly it may be a case of 'more fool you'. People change and people can do terrible things to hurt their partner. When a marriage fails, sometimes it brings out the worst in people. Here are the things you need to know about dirty tricks in divorce.
#1 It's what you sign, not what you say, is important. A spouse may have you sign an agreement whereby they have control of the kids but promises you access at any time. The court is not interested in what may have been said but what has been agreed to in writing.
#2 Beware of joint accounts. One spouse may withdraw a large amount and not tell you. You write some checks which bounce. You are embarrassed and may have a future credit problem.
#3 Financial pain can occur if only one spouse is earning money. They may delay paying certain bills. You are in no position to do anything re payment and the stress levels will begin to rise.
#4 On the financial issue, one spouse may have access to a credit card but it is the other spouse who is responsible for payment. The latter is presented with a monthly statement with some serious spending. This is one way to punish a spouse.
#5 File an incorrect report. One spouse may claim their partner has been violent or abusive when this is not the case. Building up a case against a spouse is done in several ways. Of course it is an offence to falsely swear a statement but a divorce can become a war zone.
#6 Parenting can become an issue. A male can be told that a child or children are not his. This claim can be proved or disproved with science of course but having such a claim made can cause great mental anguish. If the claim is true, the male is then possibly trying to obtain custody of a child who is not his. It can become messy and bitter.
#7 Silence is deadly. Couples are always urged to keep the lines of communication open even if it is through a third party such as a mutual friend, mediator or lawyer, but some people choose to have no communication whatsoever and this can cause pain and distress.
#8 False claims can be a nasty form of behavior. One spouse, who really has no intention to become the main or sole custodian of the children, makes a claim to the contrary. The other spouse doesn't know if this claim is made in good faith or not. It's not made in good faith but is used to increase pressure on the other spouse and cause pain and suffering to their mental health.
Remember that knowledge is power and be aware that dirty tricks can and may be played.
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