Remarriage is an option that holds the promise of that "happily ever after' that few can attain on earth, but it is perhaps better to touch fire and be burnt than to freeze with loneliness for the rest of your life. Remarriage is much more accepted now in general than it was even a decade ago. Of course, you need to be careful before making a move.
Is Remarriage Beneficial?
Whether remarriage will benefit you or not will depend on how you are as a person and whether you are ready to move on in life. If you keep thinking about your previous marriage and ruing how you lost out on it all the time, it would not take a specialist to say that your present partner would run away in no time. It is true that remarriage can fill your emotional and biological needs. But then our body can be satisfied without getting into marriage again and a good friendship is an emotional support. So remarriage is beneficial only if you are keen to enter the special commitments of wedlock again.
How to Find the Right Partner
This time love has not come calling, you are going to look around for it. Cupid still does his duty, but the population pressure is probably telling on him too. So you need to put in a bit of effort if you are decided on remarriage. Here are a few avenues that you may try:
· The internet is buzzing with chat groups, dating sites, marital services, dedicated divorcee dating groups and more related fare. You can look up these for like-minded people in similar situations.
· Some divorcees do not want to date with a divorcee again. The idea is to start afresh - no matter what happens next. In that case, you can try out general sites, and let luck decide who your partner would be.
· You can also try out general social network groups. A good friendship may mature into romance and then marriage if all goes well for you.
· You can also look up the classifieds and yellow pages on this, but the internet is a better idea.
· You may have a friend or colleague whom you have liked or who has grown closer to you. There may also be a suggestion from one of your loved ones. Don't jump to conclusions immediately, take your time, don't trust too readily, but don't be standoffish either.
Dating Tips for Divorcees
Here are some tips that you may want to keep in mind while dating:
· Take care of your appearance. The "grieving' look may work in a support group meeting, but will be a damper on a date. You are courting again, and you need to look like it.
· Do not keep talking about your past marriage and ex-spouse. This sympathy may have brought you together, but it is not wanted on a date. Concentrate on the present and try to appreciate the person with whom you are now.
· Do not mentally compare your date with your ex, or past courtships. This is a bad habit to say the least. You will never be able to find the flawless human, because we are all flawed.
· Try to find out what he or she likes or dislikes, whether your hobbies match, and any other point that you have overlooked so far or not got a chance to discuss. Don't be in a hurry -- people chasing marriage are considered desperate and not very palatable.
How Can Remarriage Stabilise Your Life Again?
Remarriage will bring back the human factor in your life again. You will also have a second chance to show your commitment, passion, affection and all that is good in you. You will also feel more secure and less unwanted. Remarriage usually sets your daily schedule on track again.
What Kind of People to Look For
You basically need to find someone who is willing to accept you as you are, and be happy with that. You should not be too demanding either. Strike a balance; it is needed at this juncture of your life.
Are You Wiser Post-divorce?
You should be. Love may be blind, but not brainless.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie
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