Some of us would describe ourselves as extremely gullible, falling for every trick, believing everything that is said to us. Others are more wary, often to the extent of believing nothing without proof and are extremely cynical.
In a broad sense those who are gullible tend to be far more positive. They have a happier perspective and expect the best of everyone around them. They do not expect anyone to be deceitful or to lie to them. You may say that they see life through rose-tinted spectacles.
In contrast the cynical person has a far more negative outlook, always looking for a catch or an underlying reason for someone being nice to them. They pride themselves on being able to detect lies, or people who are trying to rip them off.
But when you really think about it, how easy is it to detect lies, or indeed, how easy is it to lie successfully? A poker player has to be good at lying; bluffing is a part of the game. But how do you know if a person is bluffing or just pretending to bluff? You may have seen Derren Brown when he taught a relatively elderly lady to play poker with the pros in just one week, demonstrating how easily one can learn to be a good bluffer and adept at reading others.
One must also be aware that anyone who has even a touch of social phobia will display all of the cues which may be confused as the indications of a lie. Many people, for example, are aware of their heart beating rapidly and their chest tightening when stopped by a police officer, even when they know they have done nothing wrong. At school the majority of teenagers don't feel comfortable being asked to stand up and read aloud, or to answer a question. They aren't lying; they are simply not comfortable in that situation.
There are many visible indicators of lies, such as sweating or avoiding eye contact, shuffling and so on. But if you know what the indicators are you can learn to overcome them. I was with a group of people the other week discussing lie detection. There is no definitive test, no one indicator which you can truly rely upon. You cannot take anything alone, but have to look at the overall picture. You also have to recognize your own instinctive expectancies and learn to take a step back from them.
A person who expects to be lied to will have at least become practiced in the things which should be looked out for. But, and this is a big BUT, their own expectation will taint what they see; they are more inclined to see a lie, purely because they expect a lie, and because of this can misread the cues which are provided.
In reality, your expectations have a great impact upon the reality which you subsequently experience. If you have a positive expectation you will notice the things which are positive in your life and the more negative events will be given less thought, less attention. Life will seem happier and better purely as a result of your expecting it to be better. You are also less likely to detect lies and deceit; you are not looking for it.
Those who are good at poker have learned how to step back from their emotions and to keep an open mind, always remaining observant as to the hidden cues which they are inevitable privy to, so long as they are looking for them. People do "give the game away" when they are trying to lie, although often this cue is only observable for a micro-second. What you observe may just be a fleeting glance of satisfaction, that micro-expression which tells you they feel good because they got one over on you.
Ask any poker player and they will say that there is far more satisfaction in winning off a poor hand than there is in winning off a good hand. The intrigue of bluffing and detecting bluffs is more what hooks the poker player than just relying on being lucky enough to be dealt great cards.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for well-being and success, including winning at poker.
P.S. Why not grab a free hypnosis download from my website?
With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis mp3 from http://www.RoseannaLeaton.com and peruse her extensive library of hypnotherapy downloads to inspire you.
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