How to Cope with a Child Custody Battle

By admin / January 21, 2008
By: James Walsh
Category: Divorce

However, the people to be affected are not the divorcing couple alone. Even the elders of the family along with the siblings of the couple are likely to be adversely affected. However, no one is more affected than the children of the two people.

A divorce amongst the parents can tear apart the children's emotional states of mind. It is not at all easy for the children to comprehend as to what is happening to their family. They are merely aware that whatever it may be, it is not good for them.

In addition to this, the tug of war between the parents regarding the custody of the children can complicate matters further. The children may get in the way of the cross fire that is going on amongst their parents.

Several disputes can arise between the couple regarding the children's custody. It is best if the parents are able to sort out the differences amongst their own selves. Otherwise, if the issue is dragged into the courts of law, then it can affect the children adversely.

The first and foremost point of difference or dispute amongst the couple is generally as to whom the children will stay with after the divorce proceedings are over. In most instances there is a consensus that the children will be staying with their mother.

However, this may not always be the case. At times, the father may feel that for some given reason the mother may not be able to prove an able parent. It might be that in a given relationship the mother was the working partner while the father looked after the children.

In other instances, the mother may have been a substance abuser or may have a criminal record. Even if there are no such drastic reasons, mere love for the children might force the father to file for the custody rights of his children.

Another point of contention in child custody battles might be in regard to the visiting rights being granted to the non custodial parent. While the parent with the custody of the children may find even weekly visits too much, the other parent may find that to be too less.

Similarly there may be differences regarding with which parent the children will spend their holidays. The time spent with each respective parent etc. All these issues are of vital importance to the child's emotional well being.

These are the issues regarding the physical custody of a child. However, issues relating to the legal custody of the children also have profound implications for both the child's future as well as his or her relationship with his or her parent.

When a divorce takes place, then, it is not simply the question of who will be getting the physical custody of the children; there are other issues that have long ranging implications for the children which are of equal importance.

One such issue is the one concerned with the education of the children. There can be no two opinions in regard to the importance of education for a child. In this context, both the parents may wish to have an, equal say.

Other than education, the health of the child is also of great importance. There may be important decisions which have to be taken in this account. Although the onus of the child's welfare will automatically fall on the shoulders of the parent who has the child's custody, the other parent may also wish to be a part of the long term process.

The various extra curricular activities, in which the children indulge, also help to shape their character and personality in the long run. Both the parents may wish to have a role in deciding on what kind of activities their child may participate.

The religious beliefs of the children are formed early on in childhood and play a crucial role in providing him or her, an outlook to the world in general. The parents of the children will naturally desire to have a say in this matter also.

However all these issues need not be contested. It is best if the parents sit across the table or take the help of a mediator to decide on all these issues amongst themselves and outside the courts of law. This is good for the children as well.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see

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