Finding Someone after Divorce

By admin / September 11, 2007
By: James Walsh
Category: Divorce

However, as time goes by, your emotional wounds begin to heal and you may start weighing the option of dating other people. You may start missing the companionship of the opposite sex and may want to start afresh with your life. However, make sure that you heal yourself before you start dating. Some people start dating as soon as they get divorced or during the divorce process in the hope of forgetting about their ex-spouse. However, since your bitter memories and emotional wounds are still fresh, you may still consciously search for behavioural patterns that are either similar or dissimilar to your ex-spouse. Any similarity would make you draw away from your date without even getting to know your date properly. On the contrary, any dissimilarity may make you jump into a serious relationship too soon, which might hurt you later on in your dating experience.

People often do not know where to start their hunt for their new date. There are many resources available that can help you find your companion. Online dating is one of the favourite options these days. There are many online dating sites dedicated to people who are divorced or separated. Some dating sites charge a fee, whereas others offer free subscription. Usually, when an online dating service charges a fee, chances are that their databases of people are larger, which can significantly increase your chances of meeting the right person. In addition, some dating sites also provide expert psychological advice and tips, which can help you understand the emotional process of getting into new relationships after divorce.

Online dating can be very helpful when people are too shy to explore the dating game initially. People who start dating after a divorce tend to be very anxious and nervous because they tend to get inexperienced at the dating game. Therefore, when their profile does not catch much attention, they tend to feel impatient and disheartened. It is important to understand that while online dating is a great and easy way of meeting new people, it does require some effort from your end. Your online profile is what catches the eye of prospective dates and if the profile seems too dull or uninteresting, you may lose out on potential dates. When people write their profiles, they often feel too self-conscious and write minimally or restrictively about themselves. This fails to show their individuality or their personality, making their profile an ordinary one. You would need to write your profile in a way that makes the reader get a sense of who you are as a person. For example, writing that you like reading and listening to music does not tell anyone anything significant about your personality. However, saying that you enjoy cuddling up with a P.G. Wodehouse on weekends and like to unwind after a day's work by listening to lounge music gives the other person more idea about your personal traits as well as your preferences. It is important that you write informally as if you were talking to a friend about yourself. Use a style of writing that is more conversational in nature. Do not hesitate to ask for help. People who are close to you will be able to help you write about yourself. A tasteful photograph can make all the difference. Post online photographs of yourself to attract more responses. While dating after divorce can be fun, you might face other issues that might not be very pleasant. Let us discuss some of these issues and understand how you can cope with them.

Potential Problems Associated with Dating after Divorce

  • When people start thinking about dating after divorce, they are very unsure of how other people around them will react to this decision. It is important to remember that people who are close to you will always welcome your decision of moving on with your life. People who love you want to see you happy and will help and encourage you with this decision. However, there might be other people who frown upon your decision because to them divorce might mean an end of the road. While that opinion might have gained some ground in the earlier times, it does not hold true any longer. It would be your best bet to rely on your intuition and start dating when you think you are ready. People are often unsure if they will be able to find a companion with the divorcee tag looming over their heads. Being a divorcee does not change who you are as a person. Therefore, it is important to understand that people who love you or care for you will continue to do so, with or without your divorcee title.
  • If you have children, then you will need to tread carefully in choosing your date. Your date should be able to relate to children and willing to accept your children as they are. In addition, your children may not accept another man or woman in life so soon. Therefore, you will have to introduce your date into your children's lives very slowly.
  • James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk





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